


this story was about protecting you, but the ending of this is you saving me

by futurefishes



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Post-Time Skip, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, i love these two so much, it's nothing too graphic but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22742302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futurefishes/pseuds/futurefishes
Summary: It started when the war ended. The nightmares and the feeling of dread and fear. The flashbacks that make him numb with freight. The way he gets annoyed much easier than before. The marks that the last few years has left on him is finally noticeable.The nights that anxiety caught up with him are increasing at a steady speed. So far, it has always happened when he's alone in the bed, when his wife is working far away. It's been a comfort, to know that she hasn't had to see him weak, hasn't had to see him biting back the tears.But now, she's here, and although her mere presence has been enough to keep the feelings away for a few days now, it seems like it suddenly isn't enough.The war catches up with Felix. Byleth is there to support him.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	this story was about protecting you, but the ending of this is you saving me

**Author's Note:**

> heyo!
> 
> this is my first work in the fe fandom, and i'm really excited! and nervous. I have no idea if ppl are gonna like this or not but i really wanted to write this
> 
> i finished the game on the blue lions route a few weeks ago and i loved it to pieces! and i especially loved felix. and this idea came into my mind, because idk, i just feel like even the strongest person will probably be affected by the things that happened in the battlefield.
> 
> also not beta read or anything, so watch out for typos and bad grammar!!  
> anyway, i hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

Felix is good at a lot of things;

He's good at sword fighting, he's good at picking fights and he's good at being there for his friends, even though he hides his feelings behind cold words and scowls. He's good at a lot of things, really.

He's especially good at hiding his feelings.

Even though there wouldn't be as many sword fights when the war ended, he still found himself relieved. More so than he had expected - he didn't realize how much it had affected him, until the world settled down around him, until he managed to wrap his head around what he had lost. 

He had lost his father. Countless people he would've called friends back when he was still a student at the academy were now gone. The world had changed, and despite it taking 5 years for it to end it was like the changes caught up to him all at once. 

One thing that had caught up to him was the feelings he bore for Byleth - his professor from when he was still a student to an amazing comrade on the battlefield. She was fierce, she could keep up with him and she didn't mind his antics. 

He doesn't know when the feelings grew to become something more than a fascination, more than a crush. He just knows that when she disappeared during the battle five years prior, his grief had been of a different kind from the others. 

And when he finally got the sadness and grief under control, she had come back. 

There aren't any words that can properly explain how relieved he felt. How the surprise and shock molded into happiness, despite the war raging around them. He made a promise early after her return, to ask for her hand.

And now the ring was on their fingers. They belonged to one another now, and the day of the wedding had been the best day of his life.

Because of their duties though, they spent a lot of time apart. But the love never faded, and he always welcomed her back with a warm smile when she returned. 

She's here now, laying curled up against his chest. Byleth is breathing slowly as he sleeps, and Felix draws her even closer to himself.

Despite it being in the middle of the night, Felix is wide awake. The moonlight shines softly through the window into the bedroom, and he takes deep breathes to try to calm his beating heart.

Felix is good at a lot of things. He knows what he wants in life and he always strives to reach his goals. He's good at ruling the territory he's in charge of, and he knows the people think so, too.

But there are things he's not good at, too. He's not the best with words and getting his feelings across. He's not the best at being gentle and careful, and sometimes he can act out of affect instead of thinking his actions through.

He's not good at handling the anxiety that creeps upon him during the nights it makes itself known.

It started when the war ended. The nightmares and the feeling of dread and fear. The flashbacks that make him numb with freight. The way he gets annoyed much easier than before. The marks that the last few years has left on him is finally noticeable. 

The nights that anxiety caught up with him are increasing at a steady speed. So far, it has always happened when he's alone in the bed, when his wife is working far away. It's been a comfort, to know that she hasn't had to see him weak, hasn't had to see him biting back the tears. 

But now, she's here, and although her mere presence has been enough to keep the feelings away for a few days now, it seems like it suddenly isn't enough.

He lets his thumb rub soft circles into her hip, trying his best to take deep breathes and to  _ calm down _ . But the images he sees are too much, sometimes, and he over and over he sees people he loves falling to the ground, blood pouring out of their wounds as they take their last breaths. And he can feel himself panic, feel himself want to shout and to move in front of the blade that took their lives. His heart is beating loudly in his chest and he feels nauseous, and he wants to scream-

"Felix?"

Her voice makes him freeze. He doesn't stop her as Byleth turns around in his arms, turning her beautiful face towards his so she can see him properly.

"Go back to sleep," he grumbles, and he moves his face to the side in an effort to hide the feelings that he knows are visible on his face. But she's always been good at reading him, and she puts the palm of her hand against his cheek and makes him look at her again.

Felix watches her eyes widen slightly. "You're crying."

He's just about to tell her that he isn't, why would he cry, but then he can feel the wetness on his cheeks. "Oh."

Byleth looks up at him in concern, and she moves even closer to him, her arms wrapping around his form. "Do you want to talk about it?"

A 'no' is forming on his lips but he doesn't let it out. He looks down at Byleth - his love, his wife - and in her green eyes he sees her want to understand him, to comfort him.

Normally, it would make him feel weak. Normally, he would be ashamed to show his fears like this and to admit them.

But the look in her eyes makes him want to tell her, so he does.

He tells her about his nightmares, how it takes the form of the people he's lost. How they're vivid enough that it feels like he's really back there, at the battlefield, watching as the people around him fall one by one. How he sometimes wonder if he could've done anything differently. How he sometimes thinks he should've been the one who took the hit, and not his father, their friends or all the innocent people that did. He tells her about how this has been keeping him up at night, how he wants this feeling to end but he doesn't know-how. 

When he finally stops talking the tears are falling from his eyes freely, and Byleth moves to press him against her chest. He cries into her nightgown, and she strokes his back soothingly. 

"It's okay," she whispers, over and over, her voice soft. "You did the best you could. I'm glad you're still here, with me."

Their grip around one another tightens, and they hold each other until the sun starts moving up over the horizon. 

Felix lets it all out until there are no tears left to cry. He's exhausted, but the relief he feels at having let it all out feels like euphoria. 

Byleth smiles at him and pulls him closer, pressing a kiss to his forehead, his cheek and the corner of his mouth. "Sleep."

And so he does.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on twt @ jeonghooons


End file.
